A Felon on Fellowship

Eight years ago I made some choices that led to a felony conviction. At that point in time, society as I knew it shunned me, and I responded in kind by removing myself from it. After that, the multitude of "friends" that I once had was reduced to a number that could be counted on one hand with a few fingers to spare. Well, after this weekend at the Men's Muster sponsored by Fellowship Bible Church in Conway, I think I will have to break out the other hand, and perhaps a few toes to tally up my new friends.

For years I've avoided going to this event, because in the end I knew that it meant one thing: I would have to once again become transparent in front of a group of men whom I didn't know, who didn't know me, and would perhaps reject me as so many had done before. Oh, how wrong I was!

Let me give you a felon's perspective on what true fellowship and true friendship mean to me now.

The weekend started off with a scavenger hunt. I wasn't excited about it when I first heard "The Amazing Race" was part of the agenda. "Just another corny 'ice breaker' exercise," I said to myself. However, it immediately served its purpose: it took my mind off of all that is life, and sucked me into a game that got me focused on the weekend. Never before have my father and I actually turned our truck around, in the middle of the highway in a thunderstorm, to go back and snap a cell phone photo of a dead skunk, or a sign, or a graveyard, or a camel. When we finally arrived at the beautiful Shepherd of the Ozarks retreat, the mood was festive and the men were inviting. In a few short hours I played a game that allowed me to get to know complete strangers pretty well. I laughed a hearty, guttural laugh, along with 70 other men, when the game ended with Korey Stoner saying, "Never have I ever watched the movie Brokeback Mountain." Ken Wilson called the game and named Korey the champion by saying, "OK, I think that's gone about far enough!" You had to be there to understand the humor in that.

But it got even better. A godly man named Chris Kear, our new Executive Pastor, invited me and a few others to play "Jokers" with him, and that was after I had revealed to him and others that the reason I was in a prison ministry was because I was a felon. "Wow," I thought, "he's accepted me. He didn't walk away." Thank you, Chris. Later that evening, after it was made abundantly clear to us that we were "weenies" if we went to bed before midnight, I sat at a Black Jack table until 12:15 a.m. as John Lee proved to me that the dealer always wins. And Arnold Hameister reminded me of something I knew 20 years ago when I met him: he is truly a silly man.

Later that night I learned something about myself. I learned that as much as I wanted to justify it, suffocating a man quietly with my pillow because he snores, and saying it's for the greater good, is probably NOT OK with God. So, I possess a little restraint...no one died.

The next day brought more great things. I learned that a young man named Lee Strevig could lead me blindfolded through a mine field. I learned that seven learned men CANNOT tie a knot in a rope when they are indeed part of the rope (except for the Orange team, which I am convinced must have cheated.) I learned that a 55 year old man like Jim Merritt can make a bunch of young bucks envy his hustle on the football field. I learned that everything you've heard about Andy Chouinard's legendary prowess with a slingshot and a paintball is true. I learned that as "forgiving" as I try to be, I still want to harm members of Al Qaeda. I know this because even though Mark Hughey, Jr. was on my paintball team, I wanted to shoot him in his turban-wrapped head just to say I'm the one who finally got Ben Laden.

I stood beside myself almost as I watched a man like Lance Oden, whom I've never met prior to this weekend, put his hand on my shoulder and pat me on the back because we had endured a paintball war together. I witnessed first hand that just because the scrambled eggs are somewhat yellow, and that my fellow men had worked hard to prepare them, they still could be really awful. I learned that standing in the sun on a deck overlooking the Big Creek while drinking iced tea is just about as close to God as I've ever been.

I watched in sympathy (and laughter) as O'Neal Payne went from being convinced he could learn to see the hidden pictures in a stereograph, to being convinced that anyone who claims they could see the hidden pictures must be lying. I learned that Carey Allison grew up on the same street I live on. I reconnected with Brad White and found out how much we have in common. I was amazed, simply amazed, that with all of Kevin McKelvy's musical talents and instruments, the most excited I've ever seen him about music came after he learned that Bill Swartzwelder had the connector that would allow him to play his iPhone keyboard/organ app. on the amplifier.

I learned that Scotty Smittle truly has a kind heart; that Barry Bloomfield responded to God's call to speak, even though he didn't want to; that Jon Love overcame his past to help save our future; that Jake Melton has four chickens; that Wiley Barron wears cowboy boots 24/7; that Michael Clanton and Todd Floyd can jam; that Sam Reece is truly passionate about Jesus Christ; and that Todd Gerdes and his team put on a fine retreat--not to mention the new friendship I have with Brian Stewart, and the positive influence so many men like Chuck Martin and Matt Charton had on me.

I learned all these things and so much more. But most of all, I learned that just because you fry a piece of chicken doesn't mean it will taste good. No wait, that's not what I learned most of all. I learned that I have new friends...friends in Christ; men with whom I can be transparent, and who will accept me for who I am in Christ, and not reject me for what I've done in the past. Praise God.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17.